1. Who taught you what love costs? Not the person you loved most. The one whose treatment of you set your baseline for normal.
2. What did you conclude about yourself from being treated that way? Write it as a flat sentence about you, starting with "I am the kind of person who."
3. Where does that conclusion still run your choices? Who you pursue, what you tolerate, what you assume you will have to trade, what you brace for even when nothing is wrong.
4. What would you have to risk to find out whether it is still true? Not what you would have to believe. What you would have to actually do, with an actual person, this year.