1. What do you keep doing that never comes back? Be concrete. Initiating, remembering, listening, checking in, smoothing over, forgiving quickly.

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2. What do you tell yourself about why? They're busy. They're going through something. They show love differently. You ask for too much. Write the actual sentence you use.

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3. What would it mean if you stopped? This is the real question. Sit with it a while before you answer.

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4. What are you still getting from it? You stay for a reason. History, access, status, the feeling of being needed, the fear of what the alternative would say about you.

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5. Name one change you could test without ending it. Stop initiating for a month. Say the true thing. Withdraw the part of yourself you have been overspending.

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